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Monday, August 15, 2011

Blog Challenge Day 17: Backwards

I cannot manage my emotions.

I was going to say I can't manage my stress but then realized I can't manage my anger either and thinking about it more, I realized I even have trouble managing my positive emotions too. (hmm I hope I'm not bi-polar). I'm very extreme in all my emotions. Ask anyone. When I'm happy, I'm really happy. When I'm angry - watch out. When I'm sad, it just takes over all of me. Everything is so terrible, so dramatic. Ugh. The longer I'm married, the longer I realize how blessed and lucky I am that my husband dated me so long, never mind agreed, even wanted to marry me...as in deal with me FOREVER.

I took a class in college called "stress management." Although our professor preferred to call it "stress solutions" because that was what she wanted to teach us. She didn't want us to only find ways to manage our stress but give us the tools (solutions) to avoid the stress altogether. It was by far the best class I ever took in college. After the first day, I understood why the class always filled up on the first day of registration. Senior registration. Freshman, sophomores, even juniors only got in if they knew someone who could save them a spot. Not only was our professor amazing but everything we learned was applicable to real life and not only in college, for everything in life. I learned so much in that class that I use everyday but for some reason, I still feel like my emotions are out of control most of the time. And the thing is that is when they aren't extreme, I feel nothing. I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels this way but I wish I could feel "normal." Or maybe this is "normal." I really don't know.

I also have this problem that my body almost always coinsides exactly with my emotions. I always get sick when I'm stressed. I can't sleep even if I'm exhausted and that just continues the vicious cycle. Its exhausting, especially when you're already exhausted...ahhh. I'm getting tired just writing this. I also have a tendency to let myself get stressed before anything even happens. For example, last weekend was very relaxing. Hubs and I went out for our anniversary and a friends birthday on Thursday and spent the rest of our weekend relaxing. We really didn't do much of anything but take advantage of getting to spend time together. We are very recently back on the same sleep schedule and its only temporary so I'm definitely taking advantage of that fact while I can. And then yesterday, I realized I start grad school next week, my work schedule bid is coming up and we don't know what shift hubs will be on or for how long. And the stress creeps in. Stress about things that haven't even happened yet. And I sit here; huge dark bags under my eyes from barely sleeping last night, stomachache from the amount of coffee I drank today, my neck tight from it all. And I think I'm catching hubs' cold to boot. Saying to myself, 'I'm so exhausted, so stressed out.' From what? Nothing! A nice, relaxing weekend with my husband?! Unreal. Only I would do this to myself. I'm hoping that once I start school and this work scheduling business is over, I'll feel better. I'm sure I will. I'll get caught up in school work and at work with all the holiday business. I swear I'm the only person I know who gets stressed out when things "die down" and feel better when I'm extremely busy and have stretched myself too thin. I'm working on it.

Thanks for reading.

BC17-8/15

Blog Challenge Day 16: five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

I am the worst blog challenge-er ever. ugh. Here's yesterday's post.

Newlywed: A Year in Review: One Year Later

Its our first anniversary! I seriously cannot believe it has already been a year since our wedding. Those five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes seriously flew by. Its been a great year. I adore my husband and absolutely love being married to him. We had to work today so we celebrated over "our" weekend. We went out to a very nice dinner at Il Mulino, an Italian trattoria (thanks to a gift certificate from my mother-in-law!) That same night, our friend was having a birthday celebration (Our anniversary falls on the same day as her birthday) so we went to a Atlantic Dance Hall after dinner to celebrate along with her.

We then got to spend the rest of our weekend relaxing and enjoying getting to spend time together. Andddd using our anniversary gift. Hubs got us (me) a Kindle! I'm obsessed with it already. We got it Friday and I've already read an entire book.

And then yesterday I came home to this.

And a beautiful card that make me cry. My husband is seriously the best and I feel so lucky and blessed to have him. This has definitely been the best year of my life and I'm looking forward to what the next year of our marriage with bring. The best part is that whenever I look into my future everything is better because I know that I'll always have the love of my life by my side.

Thanks for reading.

BC16-8/14

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Blog Challenge Day 15: The Day Before the Big Day

Believe or not, a year ago today was my last as a single lady. As I prepare to document my first year of marriage, I feel it important to close out my single life. With so much excitement and people around you, everything happens so quickly in the days before your own wedding that you often miss the opportunity to reflect on the change your are about to make in your life. That being said, by the time your wedding day arrives, the hope is that you've spent enough time thinking, praying and looking at what your future will be with your intending that you are prepared to make the change. I felt prepared to take on the change that marriage would cause in my life; the wedding being the catalyst of the change. But the wedding feels like the beginning. And the wedding day is the first day of your new life not the last of your old. In this way, I think that there often isn't a closing of the book or chapter of your old single life. During the first few months of my marriage, I was waiting to feel some sort of big change as now I was married, not single but I didn't. Considering my husband and I had been together 8 years before getting married, I figured it was because it wasn't that huge of a change. Now that it has been nearly a year, I am seeing the difference in myself. However it is not one big change, you don't suddenly morph into a different person. The wedding does not cause and instant change suddenly propelling you into the married version of yourself. It is the beginning of a progression from being a single person focused mostly on yourself and your life to being part of a union where the focus is for the greater good of both people. Even with this being said, I still don't feel that I had real closure on my single life. But maybe that is a topic for another day. Ok, now on to the fun stuff...

The day before the wedding is a hopefully a day of fun and pampering followed by an evening of rehearsing the wedding and thanking all that have helped you along the way. The plans (hopefully) are all set and this day is the first that as a bride, you get to enjoy the fruits of your labors. I definitely felt this way the day before my wedding. It began at a nail salon where the women closest to me and I were able to enjoy a little pre-wedding day pampering.

After the pampering, it was, of course, time for more food so we all enjoyed lunch at the pizzeria next door. As I remember, the food was very good and this was the last time we were all able to be together to enjoy some "free time" before everything really began.

After lunch some of us parted ways as there were errands to run and things to do before the rehearsal later that afternoon. As the bride, even though I had made lists upon lists, upon lists and time lines for the entire weekend, I still managed to forget the clothes I was planning to wear to that evening making me late to my own rehearsal. However it was either show up late or show up in the leggings and tank top I had been wearing that morning. It was important to me to look nice for my last meal as a single lady so I figured, they can't start without me! Ha! The rehearsal went perfectly with all my nit picky questions being answered and even though I was standing there at the altar with my future husband for some reason it seemed like a dream. It felt like we were practicing for a play or maybe someone else's wedding. It still didn't feel like this was all for me.

Then came time for the rehearsal dinner. We enjoyed a great meal at a restaurant I've been dining in since I was a little girl. I had at "breakfast for dinner" and ordered my favorite meal on the menu: Hash and Eggs. Hey, I was the bride and the bride gets to do whatever she wants especially the day before their wedding, right? Instead of a lot of fluff and extra money that can often go into the rehearsal dinner, we just wanted good food and a relaxed atmosphere to enjoy time with our family and wedding party. Since we are out of state, many of these events that might seem like a chore for most engaged couples were special times for us to spend with people we don't get to see as often as we'd like.

Although there were still some details to take care of before my last single sleep, I felt ready and excited for the next day. I was honestly still in disbelief that it was finally here but as I fell asleep in that hotel room with my girls, I felt confident that I was ready to give up my old life and move into my new life with my husband.

Thanks for reading.

BC15-8/13

Blog Challenge Day 14: BDE II

Playing catch up today. I was having a lot of trouble with blogger yesterday so after finally getting the day 13 post published, I was definitely done with the program.

Best Day Ever! Snip bits of our Wedding Day: Get me to the Church on Time!

In the first post of this series within a series, I left you when I was just returning to the hotel after some quiet time with my mom. As soon as I arrived, I knew quiet time was over because the craziness of getting 6 women ready for a wedding had begun. You know the scene in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when Nia Vardalos' character gets up the morning of her wedding to find her ENTIRE family in her house and when they see her, they all start screaming and she is engulfed in a sea of blue tulle, make up and hairspray? This is essentially what happened when I walked into the room (minus the sea of blue tulle.) Mind you, I had our photographer, Lindsay Vigue with me. Luckily she fit right into my group of girls and disappeared into the background taking photos and enjoying our silliness as we got ready. Although my make up and hair was already done, all my girls were helping each other and getting themselves dolled up.

I spent this time stuffing my face with any food I could find (as we had planned to order lunch but completely forgot), adding even more bobby pins to my hair and giggling with my girls. Before I knew it however, it was time for the big moment. It was time to (hopefully) get me into THE dress. While I had been gone, my dress had been hung above one of the beds and had become a picturesque background for everything that was going on below.

I think it is always a bride's worry that somehow that all important, special dress won't fit when the time comes. Even though I went to multiple fittings and knew that my body hadn't changed since the last one, I still held my breath and said a little prayer as the girls zipped it up. Luckily it fit perfectly and just as comfortably as it had before.

Once the dress was on, the reality of the situation truly began to sink in. I knew that once I stepped into the limo, the wedding I'd been planning for a year and a half and had been looking forward to for almost a decade would actually be beginning. It's a strange feeling, knowing you are about to experience the culmination of something you've put endless amounts of time and effort into. However I didn't have too much time to reflect on that because our limo had arrived! Ready or not, it was time to get married!

The nice part about staying a little bit away from the church was that although we had had a marathon afternoon of getting ready, the ride to the church was a nice breather. I felt so blessed to get to spend that time just before walking down the aisle with my bridal party. Of course all jitters were put aside with jokes and giggles. The sense of humor each of my girls is one of the many reasons I chose them to be apart of my bridal party and of my life. Planning a wedding and then following through on all the plans is stressful. Having women by my side who not only helped me in every way they could but also kept me from feeling any stress to make sure I was able to really enjoy my special day was incredible. I could never thank each of them enough for their priceless friendship.

Stay tuned for the next installment of Best Day Ever!

Thanks for reading.

BC14-8/12

Friday, August 12, 2011

Blog Challenge Day 13: August 11, 2010

So sorry I missed another day but in my defense yesterday was jam packed. I literally did not stop from 7am until 2am. So here is yesterday's post.

As I don't have much time today, I will let you reminisce with me (through photos) about this day last year. Hubs and I had our bachelor(ette) party's a year ago today. Hubs went to a friend's beach house and spent the day with his best friends. My party was a great day spent with my bridal party and close girlfriends.

BC13-8/11

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Blog Challenge Day 12: BDE I

Best Day Ever! Snip bits from our Wedding Day: Good Morning! Good Morning!

I can’t believe its been almost a year since the best day of my life. We’re celebrating our first anniversary on Sunday so this is the perfect time to start my newlywed series. Here’s the thing, get ready, I’m about to blow you’re mind. Because of the amount of material I have on this wonderful subject, I’ve created a series within a series. Bah-Boom (that was your mind being blown) I know it’s a lot to handle but you’ll thank me later. I am naming the series within the newlywed series “Best Day Ever! Snip bits from our Wedding Day.” And this is the first installment aptly named “Good Morning! Good Morning!” And make sure you’re singing that like the song in “Singin’ in the Rain.” And since the title of the the series within a series was getting entirely too long, I figured I'd spare you a ridiculously long link and include it in the body of the post. You're Welcome :)

I know everyone says it but my wedding day was definitely the best day of my life. Hands down. Even though it has only been a year, the day has become somewhat of a blur of memories and emotion. Just like everyone also says, it goes by so quickly especially if you don’t take those moments to “take it all in.” I do have wonderful fragments of the day in my mind and paired with my amazing photos by Lindsay Vigue , they make the most beautiful memories. Wedding planning is honestly very stressful and something that I never want to do again for myself. So when we were in the homestretch in the days of planning, I was truly ready for it to be over and be sitting on the beach in Mexico. However, when the day finally came, all the stress melted away (thanks to our wonderful family and friends who took such good care of us) and we were really able to enjoy celebrating our marriage.

The day began in the best way: with laughter from my closest girlfriends and me. I remember hearing one of my bridesmaids getting up from her bed in our hotel room, immediately walking into something and then shouting in pain which gave us all the giggles right away. Luckily she was unhurt and we all stayed in bed a little while longer gabbing and giggling the way girlfriends do.

The lighthearted atmosphere continued on as my best friend handed me the veils she donned at her own wedding and I skipped down the street to the hair salon waving them in the wind. I feel so blessed to have a friend who will let me get married wearing something she wore on her special day. What a wonderful “something borrowed” and something that strengthens our best friend bond even more.

As my nerves were starting get the best of me a bit at the hair salon, my other best friend busted in the salon full of positive energy (as usual) with bagels and mimosas in tow. Perfect timing. She is always late but always comes at just the right time.

After hundreds (literally) of bobby pins and pounds of hairspray, I was lucky enough to be able to spend some quieter time with my mom while her hair and my make up were attended to. Looking back, I’m so thankful for this extra time in a ridiculously tightly scheduled day. Because upon my return to the hotel, all the craziness the comes with getting six women ready for a wedding had begun.